Back to square one

Last whole week was really amazing. I was seeing myself moving forward, leaving all the annoying habits behind. But this week I feel like I'm a snake my thoughts and habits are like the snake's skin. My new approach to life is my new skin which is coming. I mean my thoughts runs like in a speed of lightning to me. I want to adapt all new habits all at ones. But at the same time, old skin is not leaving me. It's coming off at a speed of snail. And I just can't wait that long anymore. I don't have any patience left in me.

I want myself to have a habit of getting up early. Going for morning workout. To be punctual. Get the perfect body like Hillary Duff or Jennifer Aniston. I'm always getting sick and I know somewhere its liked to my hygiene factor. So I want to improve that. I want to have a good fashion sense like Aks. But all that will require money. I want to earn lots of money for that I need a job which will pay my bills and I want to love and enjoy my job. Come on I don't want to be like those people who just behave like zombies with their jobs.

I'm 23 now and going to be 24 in just 4 months time. I don't want to enter 24 with such lousy habits. I want to be a better person by then. There is so much to do and very little time left. I can't waist a single second anymore.

Why is it so hard for me to get into the process of change. I can give good advise to others but why can't I myself do it? Come on the other night when Dan was really upset with her problems why was I being so distance and telling her rudely to do this and do that. Its but obvious that I wouldn't like it if people talk to me that way. But now that I realized I have never gone to anybody and pour my heart out.

Is it a good thing or a bad thing? ?

 Should I be proud of myself or wonder is this creating problems for me. 

I guess it is. I can't talk properly to people. I'm always with me and myself and never let anyone enter my world. And maybe that is one of the reason I don't have a boyfriend. Well I will figure it out if not sooner than obviously later.

And now let me get ready and complete my TO DO LIST will catch you later on.... bye for now.

I just made plans to meet with Aks. I don't know why I feel she is just meeting me for the sake of it. As I was the one coordinating it since past few days. I know for the fact that she knows I couldn't gel along with her other hep friends. But that's true also. I'm not that sort of party person. I don't like to drink much. Now that's for a fact. But party stuff I can't say for sure as I have not done it before. Have to experience it. Plus I have to go to meet her she is not coming here. But now I will give her this one as there are not many places in my area and she had come once and I decide to sleep rather than meet her. Sleep I can go on and on in this topic. But that's the story for some other day.

I want to make pages in this blog
★ my wishlist
★ my sleeping schedule
★ my exercise page
★ my studies page
★ my to do list page.

I know I'm really crazy and pathetic but if it helps me to be a better person then I don't really care about it. And plus it's helping me not forget anymore days in my life. Only if I knew about this before but never mind its always late then never.

I can keep writing but I'll not. Have to get ready now :)

Okay right now I'm in auto and one thing I have learned about myself is I just hate them.  Hate them to the core. And can't write in auto as its moving so disturbingly- ridiculously- zigzag. 

Reached home. Well my target money was 150/- but it was less then that so I'm not that pissed with myself. But still upset about the money it cost me for this outing. Papa was sitting outside with one uncle and talking. 

Aks told me quite a happening story of her life. I liked it as we discussed some topic which we never touched before. Starbucks experience was really nice. I liked the caramel frappe. And the ambience. I can go on and on about this but I won't. Maybe some other time. 

And now I know how my rest of the night will proceed. 

1. Having Dinner

2. Watching bigg boss

3. Updating my resume

4. Marking text book for photocopy. 

That's it for today. 

I hope I get closer to my dream guy now than I was yesterday. 

Other than being pissed off at auto my day was really nice. I love it and hate it when I don't go to college. Depending on my mood =)

9th October 2013

Preeti.